December 10, 2010

The Day I Prayed and Hoped for Came..........

November 18th at 4:15am I got 2 lines and words can't even begin to express the feeling of Joy and Happiness that over whelmed me with and I was in such disbelief that Today was the day my Dreams came true! Finally Me and Lance were going to be Mommy and Daddy to a sweet little miracle of a child. I'm not good with words or explaining storys but here goes anyways I was so excited that when I peed on a stick it was positive! so after 4 of them there was no doubt! The lines came instantly with no question as dark as they could! I was seriously in heaven. after calling in for work and going to the OB (not because of issues with pcos but because I was going to have a baby!!!) they told me I was 5 weeks and 1 day along! I was in shock! I couldn't believe it! I was so overcome with joy and happiness that I would burst into tears of Joys :) I blame it on the emotions of pregnancy. :) after telling family and their excitement and having the Best thanksgiving EVER! and finding out that one of my Best Friends was pregnant too I thought wow this is sooooooo PERFECT! almost to Perfect that I thought wow after all these years The Lord is truely blessing me ten folds! That joy of that postitive preggers test I pray my dear friends who haven't had that that they will. and soon!.




Then November 29th came. and I ended up in the ER :( had spotting and cramps. really bad cramps and I cried. I cried my Heart out. that is seriously what it felt like. I kept repeating over and over agian Baby stay with Mommy..please stay with me.. after 4 hours in the ER and no answers except that I had a UTI and that the ultrasound came back showing I wasn't as far along as They thought. They didn't think I had miscarried so I went home and just cried my eyes out and Lance held me. My gut was telling me that I needed to prepare myself for the worst. I followed up with my OB and she ordered Blood work for me and told me well either you are not as far along as we thought or you have a blighted olvum.( the fertilized egg decides to stop growing) and you miscarried. that was Dec 1. I had my blood work and then Thursday Dec 9th Dr appoint to see results for blood work and another ultrasound and I knew the moment I saw the ultrasound on the tv that my hopes and my dreams were going to be put on hold I had googled many ultrasound pictures to know what a uterus lookes like with a baby in it...and there was no baby in mine anymore. When the Dr came in her confirmed it Our little miracle decided to go back to heaven. I didn't want to post this but I didn't want to pretend it never happened. I was pregnant and it was the Greatest! But now I'm not and that is the hardest :(

Last week I was sooo mad and sooo HURT why why would the Lord bless me with such a wonderful miracle after 2 years 9 months and 18 days of TTC just to take it away! Why was he being so mean! Did he not love me. and after an EXTREMLY tough week of me crying my eyes out to the point where i thought i could refill tempe town lake I was so angry with Heavenly Father for this hurt! I never know I could hurt so bad and seriously be so said it was a chore to smile I felt numb at some points. as I was crying one day I was talking in my head just talking with the Lord asking him why he was being so mean and I couldn't understand how he could be such a loving God and then be sooo mean! I thought you must not know me or know my heart because you would have known how I prayed and wished and hoped for a little one. so you probally don't love me as much as i thought. and in that moment of doubt a scripture came to mind " Jesus wept" and a soft whisper stated He cries with you. He hurts with you. He knows your pain. and He cries with you. In that moment I knew Christ Lives. Heavenly Father Loves me. The gospel is true. That is when I knew that when I got the results from the Doc it wouldn't be good news. of course in the back of my mind I still wished and prayed for a miracle again. but it didn't come and thats sucks but it will be ok.. Life is still good. Heavenly Father loves me. more than I can ever imagine.

as hard as this has all been I feel that maybe all of this will help me be that much better of a Mother, a Wife and a Woman. I decided before this time on earth that I was on the Lords side and that we would have agency. I am just one person just a somebody but I am A Daughter of God first and formost and I am Grateful to have had the Chance to have that Ultimate Joy and Happiness even if it was but for a small moment. Christ Lives he knows our hearts he knows us and Loves us more than we can even imagine! I didn't want to have to post this but I felt that for me and for healing I needed to write my story and my feelings. I am so grateful to have Such a wonderful Husband who Loves me so much and is sooo supportive and so aware of my feelings. I don't write this because I want everyone to feel bad for me or anything like that but this weas seriously the hardest thing I have expirenced and I know that many people have had worse and my heart goes out to them and I don't mean to think their pain is not as bad as mine. But this is my story this is my expirence and this is how I felt. I needed to write this to help me heal. Miracles Happen. at the very least at least we know we can get pregnant.

So if you are reading this and you have kids, Kiss and Hug and Rock those little ones just a little bit longer for us Mothers who are waiting to Kiss and Hug and Rock our own.

November 15, 2010

Gratitude

Its the Month of November and It has had me thinking of all my MANY MANY Blessings and how Grateful I am to Have them. I felt like I have complained far to much on this blog and I wanted to make sure I wasn't losing site of what its all about.

In high schoool I had a Great teacher, friend and Mentor also known as Mr 'H' always tell me " Its all about Love" I'm 90 % sure he is one of the people in my life that taught me SOOO much about LIFE and how to live it besides my family members.

I am very grateful to have had the chance to know him.
I am grateful for the Heritage Academy and for the many blessings and amazing friends it has given me.

for my parents who gave me my life and my childhood and the sweet moments of Ice skating in central park on Christmas :) That trip by far was the greatest Trip I have ever had! thank you for showing me how Love never Dies and how LOVE IS ALL THAT MATTERS :) for believing in me and for supporting me and loving me no matter what. Thankyou mom and dad for coming to my rescue so many times!! and for putting up with my super dramatic hyper personality :) You guys are the greatest parents any daughter could ask for. :)

For my Parents in-law who feel like my very own parents :) for raising such a wonderful son who honors his priesthood, opens the door for his wife and always tells me he loves me. I know he learned his amazing traits from you both and I can't express just how much my heart respects and appreciates you both for being his parents and for all the love and support you have for us. Thank you for loving eachother and being affecionate to one another so that your son would learn from your example.

For my siblings who are my Best Friends! and have helped me be the person I am today! All of you were so willing to let me tag along no matter what and that meant the world to me :) for donuting peoples houses, chicken feeting them, sneeking out of the house to watch "a walk to remember", for "saint" tifying peoples yards ;), for letting my see her ring first! :), for late night talks, for the laughs, for the tears, for sneezing on ones bare legs .. :) I love you all so much!

For My dear Friends who were my sisters in the precistence you know who you are. I feel so grateful to have had the honor of knowing you here on earth. Thank you for understanding me and for loving me.

last but NOT LEAST My sweet Husband who has made my life what it is today :) for taking me to the temple :) for loving me even when I am crazy with baby fever or hormones out of wack. for opening my door kissing me goodbye in the morning and kissing me goodnight :) for never yelling at me. For being my better half. for making me laugh sooo hard my face and tummy hurt! for being my Best Friend in who I would drop everything to hang out with :) For understanding that Heavenly Father knows what he is doing and always letting me see the bigger picture.

with the whole feritily issues it has brought me and lance so much closer and has made me so grateful for the time we had and will have together:) and I am honesly ok with that. Heavenly Father has blessed me with so much that some times I wonder why of all the things he has given us I constantly focus on the one thing he hasn't. Miracles happen and we will get our miracle when we are ready to recieve it. and that will be a perfec day. but for now I will cherish every moment i have! especially with Lance :)

Happy Thanksgiving:)

October 30, 2010

Metformin

Well I had my Dr's checkup appointment today with my blood test results and the great "yearly checkup" My Test results were great! Dr. E or more like PA. E was very impressed :) my gluclose blood levels were totally normal!!! yay! So she asked ME what would you like to do? and I said well what are my options :) so 20 minutes later I had a prescription for 3 months of Metformin :) so with fingers crossed and Lots of Faith she dissmissed me and said I will see you in 3 months but I sure hope I see you sooner cause that would mean you had a postive pregnancy test! lol another reason I love Dr. E her amazing optimism that doesn't come across of getting my hopes up.

So we shall see if I am one who does well with Metformin. with fingers crossed and lots of prayers we shall see :)

ROY is home! Its so great to see him home where he belongs!
I am in my last week of BIOLOGY!! yay!!! on to intro to philosophy and ethics and general phycology! so excited for the next 7 weeks! woot woot!

busy busy busy but I wouldn't change a thing.

it will be a while before I post again I am sure since I am doubling up on classes and will have no time for blogging! lol

October 18, 2010

PCOS....

This last week has been a rough one. I don't like to talk much about my PCOS and my Infertility problems and honestly I don't really know why cause I'm not a very private person as most of you know and I enjoy reading other blogs about women who are in the same boat makes me feel like I'm not on a deserted Island of infertity by myself. I would never wish Infertility on anyone. Its probably the hardest trial I have had to face in my life so far but it has also been a complete blessing as well. (believe its taken me a while to come to grip that its a blessing)
I understand that for Me and Lance Sex does not get us Pregnant! ( lol just a little infertility joke) We joke around about how there is something else that those who have kids don't tell the rest of us. I have to sometimes take a step back and look at the full picture and try to see the silver lining while sometimes its harder on some days. I know that there is a reason. January marks the 3 year mark of "trying to make babies"

Now although I so badly wish I was pregnant and a mommy by now I have enjoyed every moment I have had with my Dear Husband Lance :) I would not trade these years we have had together for anything :) I can say that. I can say to myself to enjoy the time I have with my Husband....for those who can have babies don't tell your friends who can't to "enjoy the time they have with out kids" cause once you have kids its never the same. To put it nicely it makes me ( and I'm sure many others who are having trouble getting pregnant) want to slap you in the Face.... and I mean that in the nicest way. Its are hard thing to try to say the right words to comfort your friends that are having problems just be honest and tell them "that sucks and you have no idea what we are going through but to stay positive" :)
don't try to pawn you kids off to us ya know that phrase "You Can Have One Of Mine" Really...REALLY! You may think its funny and I may laugh or smile to make YOU feel good but to put it nicely...It makes me want to punch you in your Ovaries. seriously I mean that in the nicest way. Telling us you would be fine with giving your precious child to us cause you have so many is like slapping us in the face and laughing at us cause we can't have kids. If you don't know what its like to go through the Fertility problems (I don't mean that it took you under a year to get preggers cause News flash thats Normal. ) I mean you seriously don't have some issue's going on.....don't try to imagine what it would be like cause you can't (and I don't want you to try its not fun) just like i can't imagine what it would be like to just"look" at my husband and get pregnant.

However this in no way means that just casue you are pregnant you should feel bad about it around your infertity friends. Lets be honest Women We should be Happy for our friends who get to expirence the miracle of life and no matter what their situation is We as infertile women should not think that they don't deserve to be pregnant. that is not our place. I am always so happy to hear of my friends getting pregnant whether it be a triumph miracle do to Docs saying the chance were low or to the sweethearts who are blessed with Super Fertile eggs :) Its a beautiful time for that couple and EXCITING NEWS!

Yes sometimes its hard to know that your not preggers and others around you are but I wouldn't trade my life with them. I am so happy where I am and SOOOOOO blessed by my Heavenly Father for the blessings in my life and for a wonderful Husband and job and home and this list could go on and on and on and on. I feel blessed to have an understanding of infertility so that I can possible help my friends who are as well in our journey to become Mommys.

So for all those Mommys out their Hold your little ones a little longer each night for the Mommy's to be like me who don't have their little ones yet and for those who might never have their little ones. Love them just a little bit more and try to enjoy those "crazy days". Becasue as strange as it is us Mommys to be would do anything humanly possible to have those "crazy days".

ok my rant is over I feel better now :) sorry for this long post but it is my Blog so I guess its ok :) lol Congrats to all those new Mommy's and to all the soon to be mommy's :) I am truely so happy for you all.

October 2, 2010

October Fest!!

I LOVE OCTOBER!! I just wish the valley would cool off! another reason why I don't want to live in the valley forever....Its been a while I am enjoying school can't wait for biology to be over i have 4 more weeks of it and its driving me crazy! I realized I am terrible at Biology oh well I'll get through it!

My niece Savanna(aug 12) and Marlee turned 1(sept 26)!!! I can't believe how big they are getting and poor Savanna cries when she comes to me cause she doens't know me very well :( ya I don't like that! :( but life is so busy! the time is flying by!

Work is so busy! But I am so excited for October! Monday is day one of regionlization! (sp?) we are the NorthEast! I get to work 7-4! yay! So excited we got to move to a different area in the building where the desks are bigger!!!! YAY!! So Excited!

Lance is in school and hopefully by this time next year he will be in the Nursing program! woot woot! He is doing GREAT! He is still at Wells Fargo but he did submit an application to Jet Blue!! cross your fingers!! If he gets it he can do it all at home and we get free flights! New York here we come! :)

July 24, 2010

SCHOOL DAYS

I can't Believe I start school on Monday!!! I am super Excited and SUPER nervous! It's been so long since I was in school! Lance starts school some time in August don't know the exact date but he is excited for that! he has I think 4 classes to take and then he can Apply for Grand Canyon University's Nursing Program!! :)
So by this time next year Lance will *cross fingers* be in nursing school! Life is going to get Busy!!!
I am looking forward to watching my sweet cute niece Marlee while Alli is in class! Time is going to fly! I love when life is busy it makes the TIME FLY! which is nice and at the same time I wouldn't mind it slowing down...at least the weekends! haha This summer has been a fun one lol summers aren't like they use to be when your kids! or teachers lol. except that Summers bring Family Reunions! After 3 years of not being at the Johnston Family Reunion I finally went this year it was A TON of fun but Lance had to stay home :( but it was good to spend time with my family before school starts and I won't have a whole lot of time to come in to Mesa and see them! The Fourth of July was great! My parents came out that weekend and so did My sister and her family which was AWESOME AND WONDERFUL!!!! I needed it :)

Lance and I have been wanting to go camping ever since we got married yeah 3 years later we actually have a date set and are going no matter what! lol even if the Moores cancel..in which I hope does not happen! lol can't wait for September!! its goona be here before we know it!

Oh and since schools starts on Monday I have been cleaning and what not so my house isn't a disaster zone and I cleaned the laundry room and painted it! I just need Lance's help to put up a LAUNDRY sign :) I need to be better about taking pictures but I do have some from my Family reunion that I will post! So until next time when I find the time to update this!

June 25, 2010

Miracles!

Wow life has changed so much since the last post!!!
April- I got a new job in April working at Grand Canyon University! Yep I change Lives by getting people to go back to school and achieve their goals! WOOT WOOT! I actually really love it! but I miss my old coworkers SO MUCH!!

May- we celebrated 3 years of marriage!! woot woot! yep yep May 18th! life was busy so I told lance I wanted Taco Bell for Dinner and just wanted to watch a movie at home or something like that. I really wish we could have gone to Cali but since our Anni. was on a tuesday and life really got crazy after that we passed this time. Lance's sisters husband ended up in the hospital and what was suppose to be a normal sholder surgery to flush out an infection ended up putting him in the ICU in Gilbert Mercy and on a ventilator! he ended up having 2 strokes while in the ICU and Gilbert Mercy and it was scary there for a while!! many prayers and fasting was done in his behalf and he got transfered to St Joe's ICU.

June- He who is Roy is not out of the ICU and the ventilator machine was outof his room last week and he said 3 words , hi, yes and mom....and the other day he was finally able to see his 8th month old daughter Marlee after a few weeks and told Alli my sister in law that " today is the best day ever" he is talking more which is a miracle! but they have a long road ahead of them if your interested in helping and in the town of Maricopa click here http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=668959648#!/event.php?eid=128166593882582&ref=ts Brooklyn Boys has agreed to donate 15% of your tab to Roy Brandon print the flyer and take it in! :) if you can't make it but want to help go into any Wells Fargo and let them know you would like to make a donation to the Roy Brandon Benefit account.
We appreciate all the help so far and all the prayers that have been said in their behalf.

Prayer and Fasting and Priesthood Blessings and a whole lot of Faith can truely make Miracles happen!!!

March 24, 2010

Harvesting The Garden!!


yummy yummy for my tummy!

look how big that leaf is!


before i washed it



Daisy thinks since she was there when i planted and watered everytime she should be there to help harvest...she is such a big helper! lol haha




Tonight we got to Harvest the Spinach I planted in January! I was and am SOOO excited! Dinner was yummy! thank you Rain!!

March 22, 2010

Its a bird, Its a Plane, Its .....POOP!!!!


Our dear sweet Friends came over Thursday night to get our Life Insurance all in order and to fill out paper work because Rustin was able to save us lots of money on it and we have better Life Insurance...Yes we have Life Insurance some might think its morbid but I like to Be prepared... like how we don't have kids but we have already asked a couple that when we do have kids and if anything were to happen to us they get our kids...lol i know ya all might think its silly but I honestly think your crazy if you don't! you just never know what could happen and I would rather be prepared for it!;) but anyways as they were walking up to our house a bird flew by the front door and then flew away but not before it Pooped on Rustins face!! it was hilarious! hahahahhaha I love Rustin and Lisa! great couple! Great Friends! it was gross and so funny!

March 19, 2010

Will you ever let me be an alien with you...

I know what you're feeling Is hard to believe in That home must be millions and millions of light-years away So let the stars align And let the water make wine 'causeBroken souls will become whole tonight, tonight We know it's right so Lift your eyes and let me in'Cause baby I'm an alien like youWill you ever wake at night and realize theReason why you knew me thenIs maybe I'm an alien tooWill you ever let me be an alien with you
Aren't you tired of running From what you're becoming The truth is it's useless there's nowhere to go, it's not going to find you, So let the heavens flare And let's not be scared, 'causeWe know love's a world above this one It's like the sun so Lift your eyes and let me in'Cause baby I'm an alien like youWill you ever wake at night and realize theReason why you knew me thenIs maybe I'm an alien tooWill you ever let me be an alien with you Well the days of solitude are goneBecause we've both spent a way too longHearing voices on the radio And we can't let anybody know Lift your eyes and let me in'Cause baby I'm an alien like youWill you ever wake at night and realize theReason why you knew me thenIs maybe I'm an alien tooWill you ever let me be an alienWith you


this is what happens when i get a song stuck in my head! look it up on you tube its a beautiful song:)

March 17, 2010

GET ME OFF THE ROAD!!!!

ok so i know my last post was about my accident on march 8th 2010 well this is about my accident on march 16th 2010! p.s Happy 10 year Anniversary Monica and Dusty.

oh yeah this time i was in my car and some guy pulled out and hit me he got a ticket. my poor vue had to get towed to my parents house who were so kind to come pick me up! my shoulders were starting to hurt and my neck....so after a very long night of waiting for cops and tow trucks we left the accident scene at 8:40pm and i was blessed to get worked on that late before lance came in to pick me up. But seriously 8days...i'm so done with the commute! I told Lance I would carpool with the most obnoxious person in the world if that meant i wasn't the driver! lol i laugh but i am serious. i've been up since 5 tosing and turning trying to get comfortable...nothing seemed to work so i just got up..so much for sleeping in today.

so for all of you on the Road WATCH OUT!! BE SAFE!! and don't be a jerk when your the one who caused the acccident. BE NICE!

March 10, 2010

Cars + me= bad news

So August 2009 got into an accident...not my fault

March 2010 got into an accident...my fault:( but get this...i work at rural and southern, accident occured on mill and southern...grrrr

SERIOUSLY! I just want to ride my bike every where! my shoulder and neck are sore and i hate that! I don't like accidents!

sorry that was my venting on the good note! Lance is going to pick up infor today for Nursing School!! :)yay! i've been telling him to since Jan. all he needs is to get the finger print clearence card and then take the NET test i think is what they call it..and then he can submit his app. for shcool! woot woot! which means more then likely when he gets in it will be full time since part time is very hard to get into so we are figuring out finance's and all that fun stuff! woot woot! i'm really excited for him to get in! since his Associates degree is in pre med...its nice to know its going ot be used now! plus its nice to have him decide on his school/degree direction:) i'm excited for that!

March 3, 2010

Our Miracle.....

this all started in Oct when we noticed how expensive our internet bill was and I called in cause they were changing from normal to fiber optic so i called to get a tech out and i asked the lady i spoke with how we could get that lower cause its to much and we might have to go else where cause this is silly she takes a look and says lets see what we can do. she says oh with the fiber optic we can increase your internet speed and its cheaper and i thought sweet she said you will see that reflected with in the next 2 or 3 billing and i said ok sounds good and we got a 75 dollar gift card to qwest as well...well it didn't get lower and so we shopped and found Orbital in maricopa is cheap and people seem to like it out here so we called qwest to see what we could do to cancel and they in formed us we are in contract until oct 2011 and the cancellation fee would be 200.00 well we were expecting it to be up in july of this year so come to find out when i called in oct we weren't in a contract! we could have left in oct last year! but the lady did al lthat crazy stuff and didn't tell me! so the 1st lady Bridgette was very kind and foudn that all out for me...well we decided to cancel anyways and ya the 200.00 sucks but we figured with Orbital we had 2 months free it will balance out and the money i have been saving for lance's bday gift( ipod touch) will have to go toward cancelling which was sad to me. BUT! an Angel answered the phone with Qwest ! Lauren is her name she is a mother of 6 lds has a son on a mission in Argentina and a 12 yr old daughter who just got diagnoised with a genetic disorder and docs are giving her 10 maybe 12 years before it takes her life. and this wonderful Women was able to waive the 200.00 cancellation fee! if only I talked to her in Oct! so those of you with Qwest there are ANGELS who work there and beware of the DEVILS for they work there too. ok devils is alittle strong...but you know what I mean! she was a joy to talk to and such a blessing! that was Our Miracle today :) Life is good! God Lives! he will prepare a way for you in your life if you let him in. i am so grateful for our Tender Mercies that come in our lives! if you don't think you have gotten one look closer at your situation and give thanks for your life and for TODAY! Heavenly Father is watching over us and he really does listen to our prayers!

February 28, 2010

Rainy Days and Monday....

Talkin' to myself and feeling old.Sometimes I'd like to quit;Nothing ever seems to fit;Hangin' around, nothing to do but frown;
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down
What I've got they used to call the blues:Nothin' is really wrong;Feelin' like I don't belong;Walkin' around, some kind of lonely clown;
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down
Funny, but it seems that I always wind up-a here with you;Nice to know somebody loves me.Funny, but it seems that it's the only thing to do:Run and find the one who loves me. What I feel is come and gone before:No need to talk it out;We know what it's all about.Hangin' around, nothing to do but frown;
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down
Funny but it seems that it's the only thing to do,Run and find the one who loves me. Hangin' around, nothing do to but frown;
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

I have had this song stuck in my head today which makes me laugh cause I LOVE RAINY DAYS!! this morning was so beautiful! My Garden Loved the RAIN! however Mondays to make me Frown :( I love this song though it reminds me of my Parents..they both LOVED the Carpenters! so I grew up with alot of their music and love them as well!

I can't believe this is the LAST day of February! its insaine how fast time flies! be fore i know it its gonna be May 18th and Im in charage of this year anniversary activity....any ideas? its our 3rd year anniversary. crazy it seems like yesterday we got married but at the same time it seems like forever...in a good way! Life Is Good! we Love our Ward!

February 14, 2010

Happy Valentines Day....



















I've never been big on Vday...like ever.. but I figured since I'm posting on Vday I should at least mention it. Well life has been busy and we have been sick and thats never fun but we did get to hang out with Lance's family this weekend which was nice I jsut wish we could have felt better. but then if Lance was feelin' better we would have been in Mexico this weekend with our Great Friends! but a Rain Check was accepted! so I look forward to next time!

So my Family came out a few weeks ago and my sister game me a great idea about my living room cause my mirror wall was bugging me and so I changed it up and I like it alot better now! went to Hobby Lobby which I LOVE! seriously HOBBY LOBBY IS AMAZING! so here are the pictures of my living room. and of the Eiffel Tower I got to put in our 2nd bathroom its are travel theme bathroom and i had to throw in a picture of Dasiy who needs to go to the Groomers ASAP!


oh and we got a tread mill for 25 bucks and its barely used so I AM VERY EXCITED about that! i have family pictures in March some time and I really wanna look good in the pictures! oh and ps I LOVE THE OLYMPICS! GO TEAM USA!

February 5, 2010

To Tawnya on her 30th Birthday...

Dear Sister,

Growing up I always wondered what you would be doing if you were here with us. What kind of friends would you have? Would you let me tag along with you like Kristy and Nikki did? what would be your hobbies? Would you have a boyfriend in highschool? What would your husband be like? How many kids would you have!? Today you turn 30! I hope you can see how Mom and Dad have been so strong during all of this. I know they miss you and wonder what you would be doing if you were here with us on earth. I know there is a reason for everything in the this life and I don't know why you had to leave this earth so fast but I am grateful to have you helping us on the other side. I bet Your Beautiful! Just like the rest of us sisters ;) I still remember the day I swear I saw you in the living room in the Mirror. I wish my memory was better because back then I could close my eyes and see that face again but now I don't. I wish we could have played together here. I bet I choose to be the last to come so I could spend more time with you in Heaven before I came to Earth. Kristy names her little girl after you! but of course you already know that. You would be proud of what a Great job Kristy has done as the "oldest sister" she is amazing. I hope you liked the Daisies I left for you in Young. Thank you for being our little angel and for protecting our family. I love you so much! tell Grandpa Johnston I said Hi! and Tell Aunt Carol I'm jealous she gets to spend time with you now :) and please keep a close eye on Grandpa Coleman we want to keep him here as long as possible but Healthy. I'm sure you are watching out for him already. please tell Nikki's kids she is waiting to hold them in her arms! and to come anytime now! and could you give my kids an extra hug from their Mom who is waiting and who is excited for them to come when they are ready. I love you Tawnya! I am so glad we get to be together forever as a family. You have blessed our lives forever and I LOVE YOU! Thank you for all those moments that I have felt you near. I bet Heaven throws one awesome party!

With Lots of Love,

Your Littlest Sister

January 29, 2010

1st Hockey Game EVER!







So my work had tickets to the Coyotes game and I have never been to one and Lance and my sister Monica have said that the games are so much fun live and the fights are awesome . Lance didn't get off work till 6 so he stayed in maricopa and I went with my co workers, it was fun we went to Margarritaville which i had a california chicken sandwich and it was sooo yummy!!! i kept wanting to cheer and Christie my co worker kept laughing at me because i kept telling her i wanted to get on the BIG screen and she laughed and said Brittany I didn't drink that much! and i laughed harder cause for some reason i can make a foul out of my self sober and not care:) i just like to have fun:) anyways the game was ok much better then watching it on tv but didn't get to see any cool fights:( and it was missing my better half and so i was a little lost and kept having to ask Marc what was going on and what the fouls meant and what not lol but it was fun to go with my Co-workers Marc and his wife Ashley and Christie ...ps i still have yet to figure out how to load pictures where i want them to go...

January 2, 2010

2010

Well 2010 has started out crazy! lol we came home yesterday at 12:30ish in the morning to find cop cars blocking out street and we told the officer we were the house on the corner and if it would be ok if we just drove to our house they said no we have to park on the side of our house on the corner well when we were walking up cops were on our drive way taking pictures and we saw a good amount of blood....yes blood on our drive way i guess our neighbors had a party and it turned into a HUGE fight 15-20 people fighting and most of the blood was on our drive way crazy...yes..... anyways that was eventful! we had Madi and Nik over too which was fun!

this is the 2nd year though that it start/ends with me going to a funeral. last year i believe it was 12/30 i attending one of my favorite young women leaders funeral and it was so beautiful its gonna sound wired but it was the best funeral i have ever been to the spirit was so strong and it was just sooooo beautiful i still remmember the feeling i had that day. and now 12/31 my dear Aunt Carol passed away she is now walking and dancing in heaven and for the first time in over 25 years out of pain. I know she is rejoycing. its weird to think that i have an aunt that is in heaven now....she is the first of my aunts or uncles to pass on. her funeral is on the 8th and its just so crazy. we knew this day would come since she had not been doing well but its weird to think i won't see her at the reunions i won't get to hear her sweet stories of what book she is ready or have her ask me to braid her hair or have her tell me that she is old enough to be my mom though she doesn't look like it :) she aged well :) over and over again i count my blessings for the gospel and how we will be together forever.. and how Christ made that possible how grateful i am to my parents, family members, friends, seminary teachers, institute teachers, primary, yw, sunday school teachers who have taught me the prinicples of the gospel. I know I will see Aunt Carol and even my Grandpa and my Big Sis Tawnya again and that reunion will be ever so sweet.
Happy New Years! Enjoy the time you have with the ones you Love:)