May 17, 2015

8 years with the love of my life!

8 years today I married my best friend!  Never in my wildest dreams could I ever imagine a love like ours. I knew the moment I saw The cute guy every one was calling lance that I was gonna marry him and since that moment my life will never be the same. He has been the greatest husband I ever could have asked for and more! He has held me countless nights as I sobbed over the loss of our two babies and has made me laugh so hard I didn't know it was possible to laugh that hard. He has been there as my greatest Birthing coach during labor with Kensley and Emily I have held him as he wept for a family member. We have been by each others side from day one and he is not only a great husband to me but a wonderful father to his daughters! I still remember the look on his face when he handed Kensley to me for the first time with tears in his eyes and joy in his heart. Everyday with him is amazing even if that amazing is a hard day or rough or there was a miscommunication somewhere I wouldn't trade any of our days together for the world! I am so excited I get to be with him for eternity! Lance you still make my heart skip a beat! I love you. Always have always will! 

May 11, 2015

Life is beautiful


I can't believe it's already Mothers Day 2015!!  It's my 3rd Mother's Day where I have had the privilege of having my babies here to hold. I am still amazed I am a Mom and that I have 2 beautiful daughters! I am so grateful to be their mom. I never knew how much you could love someone and then I married my Husband and I thought wow I never knew I could love someone this much! And then I finally got pregnant after 3 years of trying and I loved that baby so much and then miscarried and I never knew you could love someone so much without meeting them and finally after 5 years I got to hold my healthy perfect newborn daughter in my arms and the love I instantly had for her was overwhelming! I never believed in love at first sight until her! And then when I held my beautiful second miracle baby in my arms at the hospital I was so amazed how much more love I had in me to give to not just this newborn but to her big sister and to her Daddy. 
I'm not going to lie this last year has been rough and has tested me and my patience and sanity and I haven't be very graceful at times with dealing with sleep deprivation and adjusting to two babies and having my husband finish his last year of school and boards and graduation and moving back home but I think because of this hard times it's made the good times that much sweeter and those hard nights of no sleep have made me appreciate not just my mother but all mothers! It's a hard role being a Mother but the rewards are far greater than anything I have ever known! I absolutely positively love and adore being A Mom. I hope this next year I can grow and be a little better each day I hope I can remember to stay in the moment more and live each day more fuller. I only have my daughters for a few years before they grow up move out get married and hopefully have a family of their own and I don't want to miss these sweet years while I'm still their favorite person who makes everything better:). Thank you Kensley thank you Emily for making me a Mom here on Earth:) I love you more than you will ever know!