I try not to think about it and to get my mind to think of other things and keep myself busy and not thinking of what could have been. I would have been 36weeks today I would have already had my baby shower the baby room would be finished and I would be patiently waiting for our little one to arrive.....BUT that is not what I am doing. Instead I hear of friends and family being preggers and having babies..babies that would have been just a few months apart from mine. Its not hearing of birth announcements or pregnancy that hurts its the feeling I get when I think to myself that litteraly could be me and my heart breaks just a little bit. I know everything happens for a reason and most of the time we will never know that reason but just like the scripture says in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, 11
"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace."
"He hath made every thing beautiful in his time"
Sometimes I just wish his time was NOW. However things happen in our life for us to grow and learn and one thing I have learned is compassion and that life really is so fragile and that it truely is a miracle that anyone gets pregnant. I often think that since this happen the really good thing that came out of it in my eyes is that Mr L was able to make a decision on what he wanted to do for his career and I am so happy for that so true I'm not nesting but I'm packing up my house and getting things in order to move to Dallas TX so that Mr L can start Chiropractic School and start the career he wants and that really does make me SMILE :) So this is our Time to Grow closer as Husband and Wife and so far I would say we are doing amazing.