September 4, 2012

The Difference

  For me I don't  think I have unrealistic expectations on what Motherhood is going to be. I don't think its going to be a breeze or that my baby will be perfect and never cry and sleep through the night from day one or behave perfect 24/7. I know My life will change in so many ways! I know there will be sleepless nights and times when I will wonder if I'm doing it right or being a Good Mom.  I have spent a fair share of watching kiddos and lots of talks with Mothers and their stories and their experiences. but I also know there are those sweet moments of Motherhood too.

 So it makes me laugh when people ask when baby will here and I tell them and say how I wish she was already here...and no joke almost every lady says " Enjoy your sleep now cause when that baby comes you won't get much of it"..I've had  24 years to enjoy my sleep...and   News flash I'm 9 months preggers "enjoying" sleep is pretty much out of the question and I'm okay with that! It means finally i'm not sleeping cause their is a human being growing inside of me waiting to enter this beautiful world! I would take these kinds of sleepless nights instead of the ones in Tears over a lost baby or frustration for not having a baby or being pregnant and having to see that negative pregnancy test for the 1000th time and wondering why I can't get pregnant or why we don't have a baby yet....Those are nights that suck! I've waited 4+ years to have sleepless nights with a baby! BRING IT ON!!!

You see for me in those nights when I've been in tears wondering when my sweet miracle will come I've poured my heart out to Heavenly Father asking him to give me these sleepless nights! I've prayed for morning sickness, for sleepless nights with a baby, a messy house full of toys and little hand prints on mirrors and sliding doors and appliances, for kids to get into the toilet paper, make up, lotion, vaseline, bedtime stories with my own kids, sweet moments of rocking my baby to sleep.

I'm sure I sound crazy to a lot of you for praying for that but that's the difference for me. When those women who have prayed for those days to go quickly so a new day can start. I've prayed for those days to come. Everyone has their own life experiences and mine have brought me here. I have prayed for these days for years now and I'm ready to experience all the joys that come with being a Mom and taking care of my own baby.  So yes I'm ready to have a baby and be a Mom and learn the whole new meaning of being exhausted and tired! It won't last forever and like the poem says " babies don't keep" so I plan on embracing and enjoying every moment with my baby even those hard nights or days or weeks or months. Bring it on!


Stephanie C. said...

When I was at your point I just wanted Adelyn to be here too! Every once and a while I wish she was still inside so I could rest, but she brings so much joy to my life! You are going to love having her here! There were a few nights that I just sat there crying while I fed her because she was cluster feeding, but honestly, that doesn't last too long. (At least it only lasted a couple of weeks for me). Now I just look back and laugh. We still have our sleepless nights now, but mostly she just wakes up once a night. I love my baby so much. You are going to be a great mom! I'm so excited for her to get here!

Cody and Danica said...

I wish I could send this in an email but I just want to say that post partum depression is real. Severely real. It has happened to me after both pregnancies and has caught us off guard both times. I'm not talking baby blues which you'll more than likely experience, but I'm talking full on depression...where you don't care about anything but you do it out of routine. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids. I would never ever change them or trade them or anything but don't be afraid to be vocal with what your body is going through. Parenting is hard and it's even harder with a husband at school and you staying home full time. It'll wear on you. Just don't ever ever ever hide it if you're struggling. Believe me, all moms struggle and it's ok if it's not perfect. It's also very normal not to have that movie type feeling after having a baby. Reality hits hard and not all moms feel totally connected to their babies at first but don't be afraid to voice it. Don't be ashamed or embarrassed or guilty cuz believe me girl, that day just may happen but it's ok. You'll get through it and you'll be stronger for it. I know it may seem that since you've had to wait so long that you know how it'll be, but that isn't always the case. Ok I'm preaching. Please email me at and I'll tell you my whole story. I try to tell a lot of expectant mothers so they're aware cuz unfortunately it doesn't get talked about enough. And girl, my story is long and intense but it's mine. Email me please. Danica