Like a ton of bricks

There are days that I am doing really good and days that are really emotional and all I can do is just try to keep myself together today was a beautiful Sunday but an emotional one too. With Aunt flow visiting and each time she has come I am extra emotional because it reminds me that I'm not pregnant anymore and then tonight I checked my emails and this pops up 

And it hits like a ton of brick. I would have known if I was carting a boy or girl by now and instead it's just me no baby to feel inside and it reminds me of 5 years ago when I was losing my first and this week marks the date of when I had an ultrasound confirm what my heart already knew. And it sucks. It hurts and I'm getting tired of crying it gives me a headache and makes my nose run yuck! But this year it's different I have 2 beautiful girls who like to say I love you mommy at just the right times 

They really do bring so much joy into our lives! I feel so lucky to have these precious spirits in my home. So even though I know it's gonna be an emotional week it will also be a great week filled with family and laughter and little girl squeals!