I know in most cases people don't like to talk about their m/c and I think that its probably because people don't know what to say and so most of the time they say something terrible..so I can see why people don't talk about it. Thats why I have this Theory. its called the Hallmark Theory...
What cards can you not find at the store..cards on ..divorce, suicide, infertility, and miscarriages and i think birthmothers/adoption..... these are all things that hallmark doesn't have a card too I haven't seen any at least and it seems like these are the topics that people tend to not know what to say and end up saying something..STUPID. like for an example " At least you know you can get pregnant. I know someone who adopted a child and 3 months later was pregnant. Maybe its not your time. or Maybe its God's way of saying your not ready to be a mom. (ps i didn't just make these up these are all things i've been told nurerous times by people and many more other things that just make me want to scream...)
Now stop and think about putting that in a hallmark card...would you give your friend a card that says " At least you know you can get pregnant" after they lost a child? NO! of course not so Here is some advice if you don't know what to say think about putting what you are about to say in a hallmark card and see if it sounds good or if you buy a card that says that. if you wouldn't buy the card or if it sounds terrible in a hallmark card and you would never find a hallmark card that says that DON'T SAY IT! simple as that. so next time you are in a sticky situation and your not sure what to say Hallmark it first! if it doens't pass the Hallmark test keep your mouth shut....often times we don't tell friends these things so that you can find the silver lining or make it better cause you can't so don't try too... just cry with us. I still remember my co-worker who found out i had miscarried the first time and she just cried and gave me a hug and said she was so sorry to hear that i felt like she understood some amount of the pain i was going through and I appreciate her compassion towards me. So there you have it My Hallmark Theory.
3 comments:
VERY GOOD THEORY!!!!!
{the deleted comment was mine... it was signed in under my husbands account... awkward.}
Excellent post, Brittany!! And I am sorry for your struggles. People do say the most unbelievable things sometimes. They need to read posts like this one to help them because most mean well. LOVE the idea of the "Hallmark Test" - think I'll have to share that idea, but will definitely give you the credit for it. Hope you are having fun at chiropractic school!! :)
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